Why Do Men Lie
(And Why Do Men Cheat)
Why do men lie? Almost every women believe that trust is the most important component in a relationship. Most of her relationships issues, aren’t really issues if she can trust him completely, and that is why most women will have “honesty” as the first word that comes to mind after “humor” when asked what they look for in a guy. But the truth is, is that men lie and so does women do too, of course. But the difference is, men do it way more often and for very different reasons. If more women knew why men lie, it’ll keep them from getting hurt, and could even help them detect it sooner. In fact, finding out why men lie will also help women pick out the good apples from the bad. When women find out why men lies, not only that they’ll feel more secure in their relationships, but also fewer fights will break out by the day’s end.
• Because he thinks he’s “helping”. A different way to see it is “Because he’s trying to avoid an argument.” Enter the ancient question, “Does this dress make me look fat?” and you get this point immediately. He loses, no matter how he answers the question. So, he lies to you. What many women have forgotten is that, the answer doesn’t matter. If he’s with her, he’ll think that she’s beautiful whether or not she’s wearing that dress, or one of the five she tried on before it.
• Because he has a delicate self-esteem. Delicate, but big. Too big to tell you he has feelings, but delicate enough to remind you that he is also human every once in a while. Right after Neil Simon wrote his play “Come Blow Your Horn”, he went to work every day lying to his wife, saying that he was working on his second play, which he wasn’t, and was too embarrassed to tell her otherwise.
• Because he wants to build up his self-esteem. This lie occurs when he spends more time with men than when he’s with women. “I kept her up all night” or “I’m going to be making six figures anytime now,” things like that. This simply goes back to the primary need of making himself look good in front of other male members of the species. When women are around, these lies get even larger. For example, he may start telling the couple of friends you are having dinner with that he can bench 250 too. And you, may keep guessing what he’s tying to say when he hasn’t been to the gym in five years.
• Because he’s just not as interested as he did in you anymore. The shittiest reason of all: He’s falling out of love. “No, sorry, I won’t be able to call when I land, I don’t even know where I’ll be once the convention starts.” Using qualifiers like “even” frequently and a higher pitch in his voice, or a lack of information are signs that you are falling victim to this reason.
• Because he’s trying to escape from something. It might be a chore around the house, a new assignment at work, a new level of commitment with you. Also one of the top reasons women lie to men also. “Sorry, washing my hair that night.” Sounds familiar?
• Because he knows that he can get away with it. Men may not always be the most gifted liars, but they’re not stupid either. They’ll lie when they know they can get away with it. If he tells you that he graduated at the top of the class, he just knows you’re not going to check. This goes back to the self-esteem booster as well.
• Because he really believes that you might go full on into a psycho chick mode if he tells you the truth. Unfortunately, some women before you may have affected his perception of the opposite sex. You can’t really blame him though; his half has done the same to you, and that is why you refer to many men you once dated as psychos or stalkers yourself. You can decrease your chances of becoming victim to this one by … actually never acting like a psycho chick. When he sees your calm & cool attitude all of the time, he will be more willing to be more upfront with you.
The Bottom Line
Here’s the bottom line, men lie for self-preservation most of the time. Although you might think that his little white lies or big whoppers are reasons good enough to start a fight, that is exactly what he’s trying to dodge. And when that isn’t the case, he’s does it because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, even if you really deserve to know the truth, like, “my girlfriend thinks it’s time to break up.” Men aren’t as connected with their emotive centers compared to women, so it’s difficult for them to just open up and give it to you in real talk. When you know why he’s lying, it makes your job that much easier. And when he has a history with you knowing that you don’t go all crazy when he tells you the truth, he will be that much more willing in the future to give you just that.
We’re also an affiliate for one of the products to help women understand why men lie. If you’re interested in learning more, you can click on this link to learn more.