How to get over an EX
The most difficult part of a relationship is probably its end. It does not matter if your interest in your partner and the love you once used to feel isn’t there anymore, moving on can still be quite hard. Here’s how to get over an ex. The truth is, your husband or boyfriend was once an important part of your life. Their important roles in your life make it hard to see them with another person. Another interesting thing you must know is that, you can’t just sit down and keep feeling sorry for yourself. It is a very bad way to live your life. You have to understand that you are a strong woman and do not necessarily need the consent of any partner to be happy. Listed below are some tips that may help you move on from your ex.
How to get over an ex – Tips
Avoid self-pity: It is quite important that you do not spend all your time in self-pity. A challenge which led to the end of a relationship can be the next step to a more successful one. If you strongly believe that your happiness is not tied to your boyfriend or husband, you will get over them.
Also makes sure you write down all the reasons you deserve to be happy. This is a very good way to avoid self-pity. List all your friends, family, opportunities and everything good about your life. The moment you begin to take note of all the fantastic things in your life, you are sure to start feeling better.
Eliminate all reminders: Eliminate everything that brings your ex-boyfriend or ex-husband to your mind. Things like this may include picture, gifts, his phone number. Make sure you keep all this out of sight. Make sure all the reminders are kept a safe distance away, if you do not intend to throw them away.
Keep in mind that you do not necessarily have to destroy any thing presenting a memory of your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend, except if the relationship with the person was a total failure. Keep them away from you. One fact is that you may still end up appreciating these memories, despite the breakup.
Consider the reasons for the breakup: Take note of all the reasons that lead to the breakup. Were you treated properly by him? Were you often found crying more times than laughing in the relationship? Take your time to reflect on all the circumstances in the relationship.
Write out everything he did that god you vexed at him. Write this down for two reasons. Firstly for closure and secondly to remind you of all the things you would look avoid in your new partner. Finding a perfect partner may be quite impossible, but never ignore the possibility of making that same costly mistake twice.
Take time out to have fun: Don’t lock yourself up indoors. Go to different places and events with your friends. You may even decide to go on a date. Try to do anything to keep a smile on yourself. Any activity that takes your mind off your ex is a welcome activity.
** Examples of activities to try include:
Try out a movie marathon. You may decide to spend some hours out of your weekend at a movie marathon along with some of your friends. List out all the movies you guys would love to see together and start watching them non-stop.
Have your own waterslide. You can build your own waterslide by laying a slippery tarp in your backyard while keep your hose running. Slide up and down the tarp as much as you like. If you are short of some supplies to create your own slide, contact some friends and move down to the water park.
Design some homemade original t-shirts. You may decide to send some designs to a shirt vendor or better still get a silk screen and get to work on the t-shirts yourself. You can ask your friends for their additions concerning the t-shirt design.
You may decide to pick up some books which you dropped some time ago. You may even continue with certain activities which you ignored while being with him.
Go on a vacation: You can decide on a location which is neither too exotic nor faraway. It may even be in the next city. Spending some quality time with yourself or even with your friends can help you freshen your mind. Enjoy the beauty of the location you are headed to. Appreciate the beauty and make yourself happy.
Develop a new found love for cooking: If you may be unable to go for a vacation, look to indulge yourself in some cooking. Cooking is known to be quite calming and relaxing. Get a recipe for a dish you want to learn and decide to cook it for either yourself or your family. The best part about cooking is that you can enjoy the meal with other people.
Meet with some friends: It may be a good idea to keep your distance from some mutual friends you and your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend share, despite how good they are. You are to keep your distance from them since you are looking to rebuild your life. You do not need everything around you reminding you of your ex-husband or ex-boyfriend.
If you meet your ex’s friends, take note not to avoid them, but ensure you are not going out of your way to plan activities with them. You are to be civil and respectful, despite the constant reminder which his friends are going to be to you.
If you are questioned by your ex’s friends on why you are keeping away from them, try to make them understand that you actually trying to make out some time for yourself, since you didn’t have that much time in a relationship.
Talk to family: They may actually not help a lot but it is a nice decision to talk to family. Family will always remain here for you and they are a great way to keep your mind off certain things. Understand the fact that your family will always love you and that they are always there to talk for you about anything.
If you are feeling quite embarrassed, reflect a little on your parents when they were younger. There is a very good chance that they also faced something similar and may quite understand you well. Talking to them may be able to provide you with some insight.
Take on some projects: You may decide to carry out that activity which you have been looking forward to. When in a relationship, you do your best you create time for your partner. This time may mean sacrificing some of your project. Now that the relationship is over, try to go into those neglected activities.
It may be some volunteering activities around you or just a visit to your grandparents or perhaps you wish to focus more on your studies.
Eliminate all contact with your ex: It does not matter if you and your ex have agreed to be friends, eliminate all contact with him for some time. Ensure that on your next chat or discussion, all residual feelings have disappeared. Try your best to work on closure. You do not necessarily have to get yourself a new partner but ensure all your feelings for your ex are gone before striking a conversation.
Ensure you ignore him, if he tries to make contact with you. This will pass a message to him that you have made a decision to forget about him.
Reward yourself for doing positive things: Look for simple ways to reward yourself. There is nothing bad in pampering yourself. You don’t need to do anything out of the ordinary. An outing or a visit to the spa, a concert or even cooking a dish you love very much is enough to reward yourself.
Abstain from alcohol and any form of stimulants: In a lot of cases, a breakup is often characterized by excessive drinking or drug intake. The use of alcohol and other types of stimulants will not ease the break up, meaning they are pointless.
Get busy: Commit yourself to school or work. You should understand the bad thing about idleness. If you find yourself doing something which is quite meaningful, getting over an ex would not be that bad.
Understand the fact that you are not alone in this journey: Understand the fact that you are not the only one who has felt the hurt of a breakup. Others got over it. Time does a lot of good things. You are not advised to get back into a relationship with an ex without taking a look at a lot of factors. You do not want a repeat of the things that caused the breakup.
** Take note of the following:
Always have positive thought. Try to understand that different things happen for a reason.
Try to keep in mind your personality and your values. Do not change yourself for any guy, due to the fact that any person should able to love you based on your personality and values.
Take time to listen to some good music.
Avoid rushing to any new relationship. You would never want to drag some emotional baggage into your next relationship. At the end of the relationship, you may find out that you do not have any interest in your new boyfriend or husband. Focus more on getting better.
Avoid lazing around and putting a stop to all your dreams. Get on your feel and go on activities with your friends. Some of them may have experienced what you are feeling right now.
Do your best to keep your distance from him to ensure you do not end up feeling bad about yourself. Do your best to not make any contact with your ex and keep away from his friends.
Do your best to build new memories with friends. You can do this by going to your favourite events, locations or doing your hobbies with your friends. This way all the memories shared with your ex are pushed to one side of your mind.
Your unhappiness will not last forever. Take steps to work on your happiness.
Make sure you are not giving your ex signs that you still care.
Avoid their social media accounts due to the fact that you may come across pictures that would bring up some certain unwanted memories about the relationship.
If you share a child or children with your ex, consider their happiness. Breakups are sure to have an effect on children and they know when things are going bad. Ensure you do your best to make your friends happy.
You may switch your phone off while hanging out with friends or family.
If you come across them in public make sure you do not go into any conversations that may lead to the arousal of affection. If you show affection, you may end up falling for the same trap and getting hurt once again.
Do not be afraid to be with other people, but take not to rush yourself into getting a new partner. Take some time to heal and enjoy the single life.
Some huge warnings about break ups
Ensure you do not beg your ex to come back. It makes you look like a pathetic person.
Due to the fact that you are angry with your ex, do not try to get revenge. Let it go. It is a better and smarter decision in the long run.
Do not try to make your ex jealous through someone else. More often than not, it doesn’t work. It ends up being a waste of time and you end up hurting the person you are using.
Avoid all rumours circulating concerning you and your ex. They are a waste of time.
You may decide to write all the negative things about your past relationship. By doing this, you are able to take note of all the bad things to look out for. However, keep the list to yourself to avoid being hurt by the list sometime in the future.
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